I received a letter today from a customer that has a toddler that wont sleep until really late. She has put a bedtime routine in place and she will now happily sit in her crib but instead of sleeping, she prefers to stay awake for an hour or two happily entertaining herself.

I thought I would share my brief reply with you all:

**************************

If she is not displaying signs of tiredness during the day, then she is probably getting enough sleep over the course of 24hrs. In this case, you either need to get her up earlier or accept a later bedtime.

Try and provide her with mental and physical stimulation during the day but as long as she is happy going to bed and is not overtired then it really does not matter if she prefers to entertain herself for a while. I would
recommend that you start to withdraw your presence gradually now. Move the chair a little farther away each night. If she protests do it more gradually.

Try not to use a night light as she will be more likely to fall asleep quickly if it is dark. If she complains about being scared, remind her that you will be right there with her.

***************************

It is worth mentioning that there may be many reasons that your toddler won’t sleep immediately. Lack of tiredness is only one reason. Many toddlers wont sleep if they have reached a developmental milestone, and its also possible that if you have recently been teaching your toddler to self-soothe, that he or she has not fully developed the skill of falling asleep quickly. Be consistent, keep bedtime quiet and appropriate for sleep and in time your toddler will learn this valuable skill.

A customer of mine has been having problems getting her toddler to go to bed without a serious bedtime battle. I thought I would anonymously share an excerpt of my reply to her e-mail.

…………

In the meanwhile, the first thing you must do is
associate a bedtime routine with her sleep time.
You can move the bedtime later. Get her to agree
to the exact routine and plan it out with her. Do
some drawings with a box for each stage and tick it
off together when you have done each stage.

Complete as much of the routine as possible in her
bedroom and do not let her go back downstairs once
you have started. If she does not want to go to her room,
try and make the first activity in the routine
something that she really enjoys doing. Be patient.
She will resist at first and it may take a few days
but if you are 100% consistent she will soon get the
idea. Do not negotiate with her and ignore any tactics
that she tries.

As far as signs of tiredness go, if she starts to
get hyperactive, you have let things go too late.
Start the routine when she is still calm.

Do not let her watch television in the evening. Studies
have shown that it will reduce the quality of sleep and
make it harder for her to fall asleep.

…………………….

Bedtime battles with toddlers are very common and I hope this brief post helps if you are in the same
position. You would also be wise to make sure that your toddler does not nap late in the afternoon
and that he or she gets plenty of mental and physical stimulation during the day. It will also help if you can manage to get your toddler to agree to co-operate. Sometimes giving your toddler some control like choosing their story or pajamas can make them feel more co-operative and less like doing battle.

In the first 12-16 weeks, your baby will have a very chaotic sleep pattern and will not have settled into a natural circadian sleep cycle. Instead of sleeping mostly at night your baby will sleep in mini cycles at seemingly random times. At somewhere between 2 and 8 weeks your baby will usually fall into a pattern of 4 hours sleep followed by about half an hour of alertness. You should not try and manipulate this natural sleep pattern as your interference at this early stage can actually delay the onset of a more stable sleep pattern. The only things that you should do is make sure that your baby is exposed to as much natural daylight as possible during the daytime and as little artificial light as possible at night.

At around 12 weeks maybe a little later, you should consider trying to teach your baby some heathy sleeping habits. The following are some of the things that you should consider implementing: Read the rest of this entry