Toddler’s Bedtime too Late?
If your toddlers bedtime is 9pm or 10pm then you may be wondering if you need to do anything about it. Even if you do decide to make some changes, you may be looking for some advice on how to do it without World War 3 breaking out.
First let me point out that a well rested toddler will be alert and will be receptive to, and interactive with, his or her environment. In this state your child is much more likely to be calm, attentive, pleasant and socially at ease. On the flip side, children with sleep problems will be less alert, less attentive and will have much
poorer concentration.
Surprisingly, they may also show signs of hyperactivity. This is because children often try to fight their fatigue, and in doing so produce adrenaline. This in turn leads to an exhausted child that is wide-awake, fussy and irritable. Interestingly, children that go to bed when they are over exhausted are more likely to wake up during the night.
The solution is to watch for signs that your child is getting tired and to then implement your bedtime routine to match this natural tiredness. After about a week, your child will start to form a strong association between sleep and the bedtime routine. You can then start to move the bedtime routine 15 minutes at a time until you have arrived at a more suitable hour.
Studies have shown this method to be equally as effective as “Cry It Out” when it comes to reducing tantrums.
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Tagged with: late bedtime • toddler bedtime • toddlers bedtime
Filed under: General Sleep Information
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Hi Sarah,
My daughter and g-daughter are presently living with me. My g-daughter is 19 months old and my daughter and I are having some fairly serious problems. My daughter generally puts the baby to bed around 10 pm but often if she is watching TV she will let the baby stay up until 10:30 – 11:30. Consequently, the baby wakes up around 10-10:30 am sometimes waking up as late as 11:30 am and then she is fed breakfast at lunchtime. When my daughter puts her down for an afternoon nap she usually goes to sleep in the living room in my duaghters arms with the TV going. Often the phone rings and my step-daughter is there as well.
The main issue at hand is that I am concerned about the quality of sleep her daughter is receiving. She sleeps with her Mom although they have a crib in the room. Even that doesn’t concern me as much as the fact that the baby goes to bed so late. I have tried unsuccessfully to try to talk with my daughter and it just ends up in an argument every time.
The other concern is that my daughter was on Crystal Meth for much of her pregnancy so this little baby had some very toxic stuff going through her even before birth.
I notice my grandaughter yawn and rub her eyes and then often she starts getting into stuff that she isn’t allowed to get into. Just generally misbehaving. I believe it is because she is getting tired and my daughter says “no I’m her Mom and I know she is not tired yet.”
As an example of last week:
Monday – nap + bedtime 11:55 pm
Tuesday, Wed. and Thurs. – nap (1-2 hr) + bedtime @ 10
Fri. – nap + (went for dinner late) bed @10:30
Sat – no nap + bed 8 pm (woke next morn at 6:50 am)
Sun – 3 hour nap + bed 10:40 pm
The weekend before the baby had very little sleep as she was out doing “fun” stuff (Easter etc).
Sarah any help you could give me I would really appreciate.
Hi Karen,
I would normally recommend an early bedtime but from what you are saying your grandaughter is sleeping for 11-12 hours at a time. She is also napping during the day. This is a decent amount of sleep for a 19 month old toddler. Some symptoms of overtiredness are hyperactivity towards the end of the day, increased whining and clinginess and increased night wakings. An overtired toddler will also have much poorer control over her emotions. Whilst it is not great that your GD is falling asleep in your daughter’s arms (she will become dependent upon it to sleep) at least they are bonding and the intimacy is there. I can understand how you disagree with many of you daughters decisions but as she is your grandaughter’s mother you have to learn to accept her decisions. It is none of my business but it sounds like you need to improve upon your relationship with your daughter before she is likely to listen to and respect your advice.
Please help!! I’m at my wits end with my 18 month daughter. Like the above post, my bb sleeps at around 11.30 sometimes midnight and wakes up 10.30-11am. She has a 2-3 hour nap at around 4pm.
I have tried everything to make her sleep early! I have woken her up at 9am but then she is extremely irritable and won’t eat breakfast. I have tried to mAke her miss her afternoon nap in the hope she sleeps earlier , but as you said she gets hyperactive and won’t sleep and also wakes up during the night, and even when I try to do the bedtime routine, she will roll and turn until her normal sleeping time of 11.30-12.00.
Recently we have made two long haul trips for a month at a time and even in foreign countries she still slips into the routine of sleeping at midnight and waking at 10.30. Then when we got back to the uk I thoght I would be able to control the time she sleeps, but when I put her down too early she tosses and turns until midnight!!
Want can I do to get her into a better routine? Please please help as I’m getting so tired and hardly have any time for myself or with my hubby!!!
I’m sorry, but I forgot to say that during the night she often stirs and sometimes cries for a cuddle. Sometimes she just stirs for her dummy with her eyes still closed, and other times she actually wakes up for an hour or two usually around 4am. When she wakes up for over an hour I will either try to give her something to eat in case she is hungry or some water or change her nappy. During the day she often seems tired but doesn’t nap (even when I try to make her) until 4pm. Her most alert time is after her 4pm nap of about 2 hours!!
Please please help me.
Hi Lam. In order to change your daughter’s bedtime you need to associate her existing bedtime with a consistent routine. The routine need only take 15-30 minutes or so but it should be the same every night. Make sure that the routine is soothing and consists of a few steps that happen in sequence in the same location. Make sure that you do not try and start the routine when your daughter is overtired.
Until you have created a strong link between the routine and your daughters sleep, don’t worry about the bed time. After 2 weeks your daughter should find the routine to be a strong trigger for winding down and for sleep. At this point move her bedtime (15 minutes at a time) by starting the routine earlier. For more information, Google “faded bedtime with positive routines”.
Your daughter is probably tossing and turning because she is overtired. Her naptime is reasonably consistent with her sleep routine so don’t worry too much there. You should try to stop getting her up though. If she needs comforting, go in and stay with her until she falls asleep again. You could tell her that mummy is here and it’s time to go to sleep, but after that do not engage with her, talk to her or provide any comfort other than your presence. Good luck.